Platformers.net

In his recent-ish brain discharge, Luke Plunkett sperges that most video game developers bore him. He does however believe that John Carmack is interesting because he stole some computers, from some school, when he was 14.

He goes and draws a line to the world of finer art where artists face incredible drama in their life and GOOD GOD these artists were interesting, why aren’t OUR artists interesting? Van Gogh cut his ear off/had it cut off by Gaugin and offered it to some broad that didn’t know he existed. Beethoven was deaf and produced renown music. Woody Allen adopted a 14 year old and promptly molested her and she’s now suffering from so much Stockholm Syndrome that she thinks she loves him.

Basically… Gabe Newell, you’re a master storyteller and direct download tycoon, couldn’t you kill a few prostitutes? Denis Dyack, sure you’re some visionary blowhard that can convince people to give you lots of money to produce a shit game and sully the reputation of a beloved developer AND try and defend your shit on video game forums where 14 year old secretly trade porn via PM, but couldn’t you be more interesting and reveal that you’re a nazi supporter and are harboring the last nazi war criminals? Will Wright, people are clamoring for you to pee on them, can’t you actually do it?

And let’s not forget:

“Many of them perpetrated, or suffered, terrible acts. But history doesn’t judge an artist on their behaviour. They judge them on their works.”

Luke Plunkett is bored guys, let’s pull together and deliver some career ending debaucherous nonsense. Life is too short and history will forgive you.

Via Kotaku (article)

PS: I’m sorry for putting Newell and Wright in the same paragraph as Dyack.

Killing Floor is making a killing. hurrf durrf

Seems like on Steam there is a game called Killing Floor where there are zombies $$$. Interesting lesson for you developers. If your game is coming out amidst this zombie fad, go ahead and add zombies to it to increase your sales. (link)

Killzone 2 sold 677,000 copies in the US, in it’s first 3 months.

323,000 -> 296,000 -> 58,000. Interesting drop there… (link) Okay to be honest there isn’t much else to say the news these days on games is slim. People are probably waiting for 3E to expose their junk.

The best part of waking up… are snippets of yesterday’s news.

Uwe Boll’s Tunnel Rats

Hunh. Did you know Uwe Boll “made” a game? Any who, it was released on Steam Friday. For 20$ and it has like… 8 levels. Maybe if it was 5$.

Joust is down from 5$ to 3$ on Live Arcade, on Amazon

I knew this was going to be awesome. So yeah Amazon opened a Live Arcade store of their own on their site and you can buy games for Live Arcade. Discount games. (link)

Meet the Spy

Duke Don’t Like This

So Take Two started to sue 3D Realms or Apogee or someone because Take Two said they invested 12 million in the development of Duke Nukem Forever. Now 3D Realms says they didn’t get a 12 million dollars. So we should just turtle this situation and wait for the outcome cause this is getting childish. (link)

Procedurally Generated City

And that was yesterdays. Morning.

The best part of waking up… are snippets of yesterday’s news.

3D Realms.

It’s a sad, sad day when the company that shaped who you are (along with Super Action heroes like Stallone, Van Dam, Schwarzenegger AND the manliest cartoon of all He-Man) will no longer be training youth to be a badass womanizing alien killing hero.

Seems like Duke will still live on through Apogee’s newest incarnation but… Let’s just get Take Two/Rockstar or perhaps an EA to buy up the right to Duke? M’Kay?

And as a long standing memorial, 8 years in the making, I present to you a receipt from GameStop for Duke Nukem Forever. 10$ down. penny-arcade.com forumer slash000 will probably not be getting his money back. Nor would he ask for it.

The best part of waking up… are snippets of yesterday’s news.

Dead Space sold 1.4 million. Mirror’s Edge sold 1 million.

[linky] Oh EA? They’re doing just fine.

Call of Duty: World at War: Map Pack 1 sells 2 million copies.

Sweet Moses really? You kids really love your zombies cause it seems that the one map with zombies was the killer feature in this map pack. Getting a new pack in June or something. I’m guessing there will be even more zombies.

A copy of Earthbound SNES sold for $1025.01.

Wow these dealies are becoming works of art, traded for more and more by pretentious people who know. Nothing against Earthbound fans though. As long as they stay on their side of the internet.

The best part of waking up… are snippets of yesterday’s news.

WOW! We’re back! Daddy’s back.

Apple to buy EA.

“Adami noted that there is chatter that Apple is eyeing Electronic Arts as a takeover target.“

Hunh. Even though this is kinda unlikely, why not invest and hope for a bit. The Gov is supposed to release the bank’s financials stress test or whatever, Thursday, which may make the market shit itself. After that, why not buy some ERTS. Before the market crash, EA was at 50$, it’s at 21$ now.

Sony PS3’s Home to get Machinima dealie.

Interesting. Home may be useful after all. What with this, Little Big Planet and Spore, content creators must be happy for more outlets.

Oh and why not play some more Spelunky cause the people here still are. Spelunky is an awesome independently made PC game where you go through caves to collect gold, fight monsters, kiss the girl (or use her as a human shield) and… Seriously. Play this game. People have dropped out of College and University to play more Civilization and/or X-Com. This is one of those games.

The best part of waking up… are snippets of yesterday’s news.

Due to my lack of time and sheer luck by going to eurogamer.net, I am going to cover GDC by posting a screenshot of their coverage.

Newest Gaming Journalism.